We tend to distract out attention to avoid thinking about our own mortality, until one day we have to face it when one of our loved ones passes away. It’s especially painful with sudden death, but it would be unfair to say that when someone dies after a long illness it gets easier. I don’t think it does.
It was the first and only death in my family that really touched me. I didn’t cry after the death of an uncle and two Grandmas. I only cried a little when our dog passed away… But me and my Dad we were best friends, and I will miss him forever. It took me three and a half years to accept this loss and start living a relatively normal life, without bursting into tears every single day.
Regardless of the religion, believers have it easier. I was raised in an atheist family, so all I had was here and now, the physical, palpable world. When you don’t believe in any form of afterlife (call it Heaven, Valhalla, or whatever), death is the end of everything. Game over. All hope is lost.
What really helped me was gaining knowledge of reincarnation and the relationship of physical body and consciousness. When someone dies, we say that he passed away, even though his physical body is lying in place. But we all know he isn’t there anymore. Some scientists proved that body does not produce consciousness – it is just a receiver of it, like a radio. There are literally thousands of documented cases of near death experiences and past life memories of people from all over the world. We have somehow forgotten (or was it erased by the Church? ) what “primitive” cultures believe since the dawn of time. But there still exist societies where belief in reincarnation is so natural that nobody gets surprised when they recognize in their children incarnations of deceased family members. So, maybe one day, my Dad will reincarnate in a body of my child. Who knows.
There is an amazing documentary series about life, death and reincarnation. You can rent or purchase it here: lifedeathandreincarnation.com
Finding a purpose in life makes it worth living. Now you know how fragile it is, and you will be able to make better use of the time you are given. I’ve gotten through the painful learning process and reemerged from the black hole of depression wiser and stronger. I know what is most important in life and I my desire is to be the change I want to see in this world.
Apart from raising family with a caring partner, my life purpose is to run a sustainable permaculture farm and use it to teach others how to care about the planet. I am planning to buy a piece of land and build there a small straw bale house to live in. Some may consider it a delusion of a mentally ill girl who refuses to grow up, like one bad therapist suggested, but why should I care…? With a new life purpose, I am looking forward to fulfilling my dreams, and quitting this life is not an option.
What is your purpose? What prevents you from doing what you love for a living?
Meditation is about cultivating basis positive human qualities: compassion and loving kindness. That’s, in short, the purpose of meditation. I promise to write another post entirely about mindfulness meditation another time, but today I’ll leave you with this video.
Can you imagine crying out of emotion watching a documentary about the Universe? Traveling with Professor Brian Cox across the Cosmos you will achieve katharsis. He manages to explain the most complex science with simple language and mellow voice, as if he was telling you fairy tales or reading poetry. And his enthusiasm is truly contagious. I wonder why I never liked physics at school…
Apart from lots of amusing scientific facts and entertainment, this series helped me gain some perspective on my earthly problems and grow spiritually. It also gave me plenty of topics to meditate upon: the vastness of the universe, the uniqueness of life, how everything is connected. Just as I said, I’m not religious, but it made me wonder – what if…?
Click on the image to see find out the details.
Being in touch with my emotions
Thanks to my therapy, I gave myself the right to feel and show emotions. And it’s so liberating to know that I don’t have to be tough managing everything myself. It’s okay to feel sad, or lost, or abandoned, just as it is to ask for help or a hug. It doesn’t make me weak or less worthy. Suppressed emotions don’t disappear – they’re simmering under the lid, until one day you can’t handle them anymore and they explode with an outburst of rage, or drag you down to the black hole of depression.
I started blogging a short time after I began my depression treatment, and it helped me to deal with bereavement a great deal. I wanted to share my experiences and gather in one place everything that I found useful to help me fight depression. Eventually, I got addicted to it 😉 It’s given me lots of joy and satisfaction to have a place of my own where I can be creative – something that my day job doesn’t allow. And it still keeps me going, especially on bad days, when I can’t focus on anything else than blogging. At least, I have the impression that I am not entirely wasting my time swiping social media.
The older we are, the more loved ones we have lost. That’s the price we pay for love.
How did you deal with bereavement? Feel free to share your ways to cope with grief, so we can learn from one another.