Have you ever bonded unexpectedly with someone you had just met? Sometimes, a serendipituos encounter may change the course of your entire life, and I’m not talking about falling in love. Or maybe it actually IS a kind of love, even though completely platonic. Hard to say. Maybe “friend crush” is the best way to describe this strange attachment.
Spotting an INFP isn’t easy. We are among the hardest personality types to spot. Not only because we’re rare (INFPs comprise about 2-4% of human population), but also, because we don’t show who we are unless someone gains our trust (yeah, Fi is a bitch). No wonder that most of us don’t feel understood. Yet, if, within a group of people, there is someone who listens more that they talk, chances are you have just come across this truly rare creature.
I met her not a long time ago. I was working in an equestrian tourism company in Portugal, and she came with her friends for a weekly trail ride as many others. Our first interaction was catalyzed, so to speak, by an extroverted friend of hers, who is a hugger (you can read about the power of hugging here). We only gave each other about a dozen of hugs and shared just a few (although memorable) moments, but enough to find out that we are very much alike. I haven’t had her tested, but considering our affinity, I have a strong conviction bordering on certainty that she is an INFP. Except that she’s 25 years older, wiser, more mature and less turbulent than I am, which gave me a whole new perspective on many things.
Having shifted her career from graphic design to farriery at the age of 40, she managed to make her dreams come true and earn a living with her passion, making the world a better place in a certain way (at least for equids). And on the top of that, she’s the kindest and most compassionate soul I’ve ever met. Without having to explain her everything, for once my inner child felt understood, accepted and loved – which is everything a turbulent INFP may dream of when it comes to human interaction. The moments we spent together were so magical that right now I’m not even sure it actually happened.
It’s hard to believe how attached one can become to a human you know hardly anything about in such a short time.
After she left for the US, it hurt so much that I spent literally two days sobbing, weeping and flooding everything around me with tears. But ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, as Alfred Lord Tennyson said. I’m grateful to the Universe for having made our paths cross, and hoping for a sequel, I’ve applied for the US visa (wish me luck!).
* * *
Meeting a healthy, mature INFP (supposing there is such a thing…), who thrives both in her personal life and as a professional, is a truly inspiring experience and gives hope. It’s made me think that maybe happiness is actually within reach… If you’re a young INFP struggling with emotional pain and self-doubt like I am, I strongly suggest that you find an INFP mentor – an older friend who will help you grow and develop your auxiliary functions.
Yeah, I know how hard it is to spot an INFP in the wild. If you don’t know where to start from, the easiest way to find one is by joining the INFP groups on Reddit or Facebook. Or, if that’s too much of a human interaction for you, reading one of the books written by INFPs and for INFPs, such as The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide, is a great way to give your growth a direction.
Good luck with your journey!
XOXO,
Marta
PS. Read also:
28 Things I Wish I Knew 10 Years Ago: Advice For My Younger INFP Self
